Last Days of Abuse

This Is Tamara

My last day in the hell hole with the monster. I can remember this one quite clearly until the end. I did have phones. Quite a few but D always found them and always smashed them so I couldn’t talk to anyone. The abuse got worse and worse each passing day I stayed there.

D wanted to go out on his quad bike with his friends and what he wanted he got. He wanted me to go with him to keep his eye on me so I didn’t run away like I had tried before. I managed to convince him that everything would be ok and that I would sit in the house and do the washing ironing and clean the kitchen for him coming home.

He believed me. He actually believed me. He left and for a second I almost didn’t do what I needed to do, I went and got the phone with the smashed screen and I turned it on. This was pot luck if it worked. I learned my mothers phone number by hand and I dialled the numbers on the buttons and I tried to press call. It didn’t work I couldn’t see the numbers.

I tried again and it rand and I didn’t care whoever answered this phone would be asked to phone my mum if. It wasn’t her. To my luck it was and I told her it was time. Right now. She had to come and get me right now.

My mother is a God sent she didn’t think twice she told me 20 minutes and to start packing. I didn’t. I couldn’t pack in case he came home and found me before she did.

Outside it was winter and the ground was thick with snow. 20 minutes. The longest 20 minutes of my life. But my god she came. We rushed to pack everything and we got my beautiful dog. She was all I needed. We left so much behind but grabbed what we can.

D turned up. I think. The thing about my life is I am 23 years old and I have blocked out some memories that I don’t want to remember. Things that could possibly help me or things hat could possibly destroy the person I have become. It doesn’t matter to me because I don’t want to remember.

I remember police. I remember my mum doing everything while I sat in the back of her car hiding with my dog like the scared little girl I was. I think his mum was there too. I was leaving. He was fighting and kicking and the police came to help.

I got home. I was free. I thought I was anyway. The police had to sit outside my house for days taking watch over me and chasing down anyone that shouldn’t have been near me. It didn’t stop him. It didn’t stop the threats. The police told us we should tape up our letter box because he would post burning items through to try and kill me.

I was overcome by fear. I drank more slept less and became a person who is numb. A person that would never be hurt again. It’s a shame this was the true beginning into my downward spiral of addiction and mental breakdowns but i didn’t know that it would all be over before my teen years were through. In fact 1 month before I turned 20 I turned my life around. And it just keeps getting better

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